Odyssey, rest o' the book!

I just finished the Odyssey. All I have to say is this...
YESS!!!! YEAH!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT ME NOW, REGULAR ENGLISH TEACHERS!!!!!!!!!!
.......Anyways.....
*Spoiler Alert! I bet by the time you read this you will be done, but if you are not, I suggest you run away right now and go eat a waffle.
I'm very happy about this, but I had a LOT of problems with the last few books of this book. So I guess I'll just go through the list of stuff...

First what I liked:
1. I like how Homer made Ulysses all happy when he saw Penelope for the first time and likewise when he revealed himself to her.
2. The insult "impundent baggage". Remind me to use that in the future...
3. Page 158, paragraph 3, it says that all the suitors and their servants, "Bit the dust". They even had catchy Queen songs back then!

Now for what I didn't like...:
1. When disguised Ulysses describes meeting himself to Penelope. First he's all, "That one was twenty years ago and I'm old, so I don't remember much." But then he goes on to describe how he remembers exactly what Ulysses was wearing twenty years ago, down to the dog eating the fawn! How does Penelope not see this? How could she be so dumb?
2.When Ulysses almost strangels nice old Euryclea. All she does is recognize him, and then he's all, "Don't you tell anyone or I'll kill you!" Why is he such a meanie?
3. Another Penelope stupidity moment. She asks Ulysses to interpret a dream of hers. I get how the first part can be confusing:
"I have twenty geese about the house that eat mash out of a trough, and of which I  am exceedingly fond. I dreamed that a great eagle came swooping down from a mountain, and dug his curved beak into the neck of each goosetill he had killed them all. Presently he soared off into the sky, and left them lying dead about the yard; whereon I wept in my room till al l my maids gathered around me, so piteously was I grieving because the eagle had killed my geese."
 Yeah, I get how this part would have to be interpreted. But listen to this part:
"Then he came back again,n and perching on a projecting rafter he spoke to me with a human voice, and told me to leace off crying. 'Be of good courage,' he said, 'daughter of Icarius; this is no dream, but a vision of good omen that shall surely come to pass. The geese are the suitors and I am no longer an eagle but your own husband, who am come back to you, and who will bring these suitors to a disgraceful end.' On this I woke, and when I looked out I saw my geese at the trough eating their mash as usual."
Sorry Penelope, don't mean to be mean to you, but HOW COULD YOU NOT INTERPRET THAT!!! I mean, the eagle literally says, "The geese are the suitors and I am Ulysses." What needs interpreting? It interprets itself! How does Penelope not get this?
4.I had to censor a word on page 142, paragraph five.
5. Okay, anyone notice that Homer doesn't really describe anything except the ways people die? I guess occasionally what they're wearing, but mostly he just takes a whole paragraph to describe the way people die, spurting blood and everything! Like page 155, paragraph 8. It's so disgusting, I won't quote it on here, but EW! Come on, Homer! Let's keep it PG!
6. Page 156, paragraph 8. Ulysses, Telemachus, the pigman, and the random storeman are having this big battle against the suitors. Then on that paragraph that I just pointed out, the first line is "Thus did they converse." Sorry, but how do you "converse" during a big battle! Did all the suitors just stop and watch as they conversed? Just asking.
7. The end. Here it is:
"Thus spoke Minerva, and Ulysses obeyed her gladly. Then Minerva assumed the form and voice of Mentor, and presently made a covenant of peace between the two contending parties. The end."
Come on, Homer! What kind of ending is that? "They made a covenent of peace between the two contending parties. The end." What? No family hug? No kiss for Penelope? Just peace covenants between the two contending parties. Whoo. I believe that book endings should either make the reader extremely happy or extremely sad. This one was just, "...contending parties. The end." Okay. No emotion. Just okay, it ended. Now where's my waffle?
But seriously. It didn't leave me with any book fog* when I finished it, all because of the unemotional ending. It made just say, "Okay," and close it. No happiness. No sadness. Just "Okay." What sort of an ending is that if it just makes me say, "Okay."? If any of you were like "WHOO!" or "NOOOOO!" when you read that ending paragraph, let me know. Am I missing something here, or is it just a boring ending?
8. I've decided that overall, I'm on team nobody. I've lately been all, "Team Ulysses!" or "Team Telemachus!" but really, they're both wombats. I mean, I like how Ulysses loves Penelope so much, but he and Telemachus are both sort of mean. Telemachus is always so mean to his mama! Seriously! Whenever she says something when he's around, he scolds her for no reason! Why so mean to your mama, Telemachus? I was thinking about being Team Penelope, but then I realized that she's sort o like...Bella. She's better than Bella, at least she does that loom thing, but all the time she just mopes around, like "Wah wah, I miss my hubby!" Does she do anything to get rid of the suitors? No. Does she do anything to help Telemachus, even though he's mean to her? No. And then Ulysses was all mean to Euryclea and Minerva, so.....I'm Team Nom Nom Monster! The one that eats Ulysses' whole ship in the movie, but not in the book. The monster that they pass before they get to the cow island! The Nom Nom Monster! Whoop whoop!

Okay, I think that's it for my Odyssey blogposts! WHOO! I have to say, I enjoyed posting these. It was fun! I hope you guys liked them, and I'll probably be back with more posts as we are assigned. Unless I slack off and never post. Muahahahahahahahaha..................................The end :)
*Book fog: when a book leaves you in a daze when you're finished with it, not being able to forget about the book you just read. Books with very strong fogs:

• The Harry Potter series
• The Hunger Games
• The Inheritance Cycle

Okay bye!
Waffles!
And Snow!
And bye!

Odyssey Books 14-17

You know, I'm listening to Christmas music as I write this, getting into the holiday spirit. You know, that would be if we actually had any SNOW!!!
Anyways, putting my weather angst aside, I accidentally read an extra book last week, so I'm starting up on book 14. First of all, I'm just wondering why this book's in Roman. I mean, it's the Odyssey. If you want to put it in Roman, why is it called the Odyssey? I think it should be the Ulyssey if you want to put it in Roman. Just saying.
What in the world is figgy pudding?
Sorry, got sidetracked. For me, these books were slightly annoying. Has anyone else noticed that whenever Ulysses lies, he comes up with this huge backstory? I bet if you saw Ulysses at a party wearing a pink tie and you came up to him and asked what color tie he was wearing. If he doesn't want to admit that he's wearing a pink tie and lies, it will go something like this:
"Hear me and hear me true, my father was from Russia and my mother from Italy, so when rosy-fingered Dawn appeared the morning of my birth my mother died because of the cold and also my father was the king of Russia and I had a unicorn but then some guys stole my unicorn and I was sad so I went to work as a professional stooper and bla bla bla bla bla so I'm wearing a green tie." Really, what is the point of that?
Also, did anyone notice how when Ulysses disguised as old beggar and he came to Eumaeus (I call him the pigman), Eumaeus calls up his servants to get a pig ready for Ulysses. His servants. He's the pigman. Does Penelope's dishboy have his own servants? Does the dishboy's servants have their own servants? Do the dishboy's servants' servants have their own servants? How is this possible?
Pregunta: Why do all the suitors have the hots for Penelope, anyways? I mean, it says in the book that she's all pretty, but wouldn't she be, like, old? She has a twenty year old son. Helloooooo! I get it that woman had children earlier back then, but people also died earlier back then. Forty was considered pretty old. Did she have Telemachus when she was six or something? Am I missing something? Why do all these suitors have the hots for an old lady? How old is Penelope anyways? I'm guessing that she uses some age-defying skin cream granted by Diana or something, or maybe a magical pickle from...
Holy wombats.
Did I just say (or type actually) Diana? Call the doctor! I'm speaking Roman! Artemis. Artemis, you fool! I think I might need to read the Percy Jackson series again to get my Greek brain working again. The book is contagious!
Aw man, Celtic Christmas is so beautiful!
So yeah, that's it for today, bye!
Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. Aphrodite. Apollo. Athena. Zeus. Poseidon. Hera. Hermes. Ares. Hades. Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. Artemis. GAH!

NaNoWriMo Clarification

Hiiiiiiii!!!!!!
So I just realized that I didn't really understand Michel's question about me on YWP today...I actually am on both YWP and Adult, so if you friended Wom Bat on YWP don't worry, that was me :). My adult one was the novel that I was actually writing, while the YWP one was a novel that I had already written, but I was expanding it and editing it during November from about 50000 words to about 63000 words. So I am Wom Bat on both adult and YWP. Sorry for the confusion :)

Odyssey Books 8-13

Alright. Here it goes. I'm just going to come right out in say it.
I think I like Telemachus better.
I know, I know, over my past few blogs I've been all "Bla bla bla, boring Telemachus. Bla bla bla, when do we get to hang with Ulysses?" But I realize now that this whole time I've been excited to hear Ulysses' story, not see Ulysses himself.
Because honestly, Ulysses is sort of a wombat.
Like on the last page before the end of book 13, he gets home and he has all this treasure, and he's still all, "Curse you, Phaecians" when they just happily got him home and gave him all this treasure! And then Athena (sorry Minerva) shows up after helping him all this time and Ulysses is all angry at her for no reason. He also makes up this extravagant lie story and tells it to her for half a page. What's up with that?
Yeah, I know that I'm all putting down Ulysses, but I actually did like his story. The only part that I really had a problem with is when he was in the Hades place and talking to all the dead people. Why did Homer have to tell us every single story? Not even just a couple, either. He talks to random ghosts and hears their stories for about five pages!!! What a waste of paper!!!  And for all the women ghosts' stories it basically goes like this: (Insert name here) gets married. (Insert name here) has two sons. (Insert sons' names here) do all this stuff and the rest of the story is about (Insert sons' names here). So at this point I was all "Okay, what a great story about these women *sarcastically*." And then I got kind of mad because then Ulysses is all tired from talking and Arete is all "Okay, servants why don't you guys do this and this and this for Ulysses?" But then all the servants are all, "We ain't taking orders from no woman." And I was all, "Excuuuuse me?" And then to add to everything, Ulysses talks to Agamemnon and Agamemnon is all, "Keep a bunch of secrets from your wife." Want proof? Page 80, paragraph three. Then even worse, Agamemnon says, and I quote, "[do not tell people when you are bringing your ship to Ithaca, but steal a march upon them, for] there is no trusting women." Again. Page 80, paragraph three.
So anyways, on a different note, I'm sort of confused as to what the rest of the book is about at the moment. I mean, we're barely even halfway done with the book and we've already: Explained the whole Ithaca and suitor situation, had Telemachus go on his journey, tell Ulysses' tale, and got Ulysses home. What else is there to do? Ulysses beats up the suitors and the end. Or is it.....?

Odyssey Books 5-7 Review

Okay, I really wanted to get this done tonight (I have a retreat all weekend) so thankfully these were almost the shortest chapters yet.
YESS!!! THANK GOODNESS!!!! IT'S MY MAN, ULYSSES!!! (Odysseus)
Sorry Telemachus, you rock too, but frankly I prefer Ulysses (Odysseus). It's just the way it has to be.
So, as you can see, the spotlight's back on ol' Ulysses (Odysseus). Minerva (Athena) goes to Olympus once again to persuade Jove (Zeus) to make Calypso let Ulysses (Odysseus) off her island. Jove (Zeus) agrees, and sends Mercury (Hermes) to Calypso's island. Calypso doesn't want to let her little mortal pet go, but she complies and sends Ulysses (Odysseus) away with a nice little raft with plenty of wine and food. Question: why does he bring wine? If Ulysses (you get the point) was going to be on float in the sea for a week or two (a sea that happes to be made of salt), they wouldn't it be more smart to send water? I dunno. Call me crazy.
But anyways, Neptune sees Ulysses from afar and is all, "Say what now?" and he sends this huge storm to send Ulysses adrift in the endless sea to the rest of his days. But, a sea-goddess Ino sees him and is all like, "That ain't nice," and she grants him this magical scarf to wear so that he doesn't drown. So Ulysses swims to this island with Minerva's help and meets this girl named Nausicaa who takes him to her father, Alcinous, who is king of the island. Alcinous is a nice guy and agrees to send him back to Ithaca.
I'm really excited to see my pal Ulysses, but this book is sort of repeating himself a lot. Minerva does something good for Ulysses or Telemachus, Neptune does something bad for them, and a kind ruler saves them or is nice to them. I guess what I'm really excited for is when Ulysses tells his whole story.

Odyssey Books 2-4 Review

This book's starting to pick up, isn't it? Basically, Telemachus sets out on this journey to ask Nestor and Menelaus if they knew anything about his father. Nestor tells Telemachus to talk to Menelaus because Ulysses (Odysseus) was on a completely different side of the journey home. Then there is this whole spiel about a big feast in Minerva (Athena)'s honor, and on page nineteen it describes in immaculate detail a cow being chopped up (paagraph four). So Telemachus and Co. (Nestor's son Pisistratus, although I just prefer to call him Telemachus' Co.) go to Menelaus' house a little ways away and Menelaus describes what's going on. He tells Telemachus that basically he learned that Ulysses (Odysseus) is stuck on an island with the goddess Calypso, as he was told after capturing the sea-god Proteus.
Meanwhile, the suitors back in little ol' Ithaca are beginning to wonder where Telemachus went. A lightbulb suddenly flashes on in their brains as they realize that Telemachus is going to find his big scary father and bring him back to Ithaca to kick the suitors out. Antious (the lead suitor guy) is all, "Why don't we just sink Telemachus' ship and then we won't have to worry about being booted out!" and all the other suitors are all, "Yay, that'd be fun!" But of course, like every stuck up person, they don't even notice little Medon the servant listening in on their conversation. Medon warns Penelope about what the suitors are planning, and Penelope is shocked, because she never leaves her room and didn't even know that Telemachus left. Not the most observant, if you ask me. Penelope prays to Minerva (Athena) and all the suitors leave to go find Telemachus. Why Penelope doesn't poke some holes and their ships the night before, I do not know. Minerva (Athena) appears in Penelope's dream and assures her that Telemachus will return home safely.
As you can tell, I am a little bored with this right now. Basically all that they've done so far is talk about geneology and sail. Yay. I'm hoping that this will pick up and we'll focus on Ulysses (Odysseus) more instead of little Telemachus. As you can see with my helpful parentheses, I'm still a little confused about the Roman names.

Odyssey Book 1 Review

So far, I am not liking the book. I've never really been one for really classic novels (except for a few, like To Kill a Mockingbird and Alice in Wonderland). I guess that the book (or actually poem) was written a long, long time ago, but I still find the dialogue just weird and confusing. Everyone is always asking random questions in the most random places. For example, Telemachus is pouring everything about his father being missing at Minerva, who was then a stranger. Than he is saying, "I must know where your ship you came in on, how your crew is, who your crew is, where your shipped is docked, et cetera, et cetera." At least the dialogue could flow from place to place instead of being slapped in random spots.
Question: Who is Juvo? I've been looking online, in dictionaries, and in encyclopedias, and I have not found one thing on a god called "Juvo". Also, if this is a Greek novel, why are the names of the gods Roman?
I've actually seen the movie for the Odyssey, so I know what happens in Ulysses' tale, but I don't remember what happens with Telemachus. I'm guessing that he will round up some sailors and search for his father.