Odyssey, rest o' the book!

I just finished the Odyssey. All I have to say is this...
YESS!!!! YEAH!!!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT ME NOW, REGULAR ENGLISH TEACHERS!!!!!!!!!!
.......Anyways.....
*Spoiler Alert! I bet by the time you read this you will be done, but if you are not, I suggest you run away right now and go eat a waffle.
I'm very happy about this, but I had a LOT of problems with the last few books of this book. So I guess I'll just go through the list of stuff...

First what I liked:
1. I like how Homer made Ulysses all happy when he saw Penelope for the first time and likewise when he revealed himself to her.
2. The insult "impundent baggage". Remind me to use that in the future...
3. Page 158, paragraph 3, it says that all the suitors and their servants, "Bit the dust". They even had catchy Queen songs back then!

Now for what I didn't like...:
1. When disguised Ulysses describes meeting himself to Penelope. First he's all, "That one was twenty years ago and I'm old, so I don't remember much." But then he goes on to describe how he remembers exactly what Ulysses was wearing twenty years ago, down to the dog eating the fawn! How does Penelope not see this? How could she be so dumb?
2.When Ulysses almost strangels nice old Euryclea. All she does is recognize him, and then he's all, "Don't you tell anyone or I'll kill you!" Why is he such a meanie?
3. Another Penelope stupidity moment. She asks Ulysses to interpret a dream of hers. I get how the first part can be confusing:
"I have twenty geese about the house that eat mash out of a trough, and of which I  am exceedingly fond. I dreamed that a great eagle came swooping down from a mountain, and dug his curved beak into the neck of each goosetill he had killed them all. Presently he soared off into the sky, and left them lying dead about the yard; whereon I wept in my room till al l my maids gathered around me, so piteously was I grieving because the eagle had killed my geese."
 Yeah, I get how this part would have to be interpreted. But listen to this part:
"Then he came back again,n and perching on a projecting rafter he spoke to me with a human voice, and told me to leace off crying. 'Be of good courage,' he said, 'daughter of Icarius; this is no dream, but a vision of good omen that shall surely come to pass. The geese are the suitors and I am no longer an eagle but your own husband, who am come back to you, and who will bring these suitors to a disgraceful end.' On this I woke, and when I looked out I saw my geese at the trough eating their mash as usual."
Sorry Penelope, don't mean to be mean to you, but HOW COULD YOU NOT INTERPRET THAT!!! I mean, the eagle literally says, "The geese are the suitors and I am Ulysses." What needs interpreting? It interprets itself! How does Penelope not get this?
4.I had to censor a word on page 142, paragraph five.
5. Okay, anyone notice that Homer doesn't really describe anything except the ways people die? I guess occasionally what they're wearing, but mostly he just takes a whole paragraph to describe the way people die, spurting blood and everything! Like page 155, paragraph 8. It's so disgusting, I won't quote it on here, but EW! Come on, Homer! Let's keep it PG!
6. Page 156, paragraph 8. Ulysses, Telemachus, the pigman, and the random storeman are having this big battle against the suitors. Then on that paragraph that I just pointed out, the first line is "Thus did they converse." Sorry, but how do you "converse" during a big battle! Did all the suitors just stop and watch as they conversed? Just asking.
7. The end. Here it is:
"Thus spoke Minerva, and Ulysses obeyed her gladly. Then Minerva assumed the form and voice of Mentor, and presently made a covenant of peace between the two contending parties. The end."
Come on, Homer! What kind of ending is that? "They made a covenent of peace between the two contending parties. The end." What? No family hug? No kiss for Penelope? Just peace covenants between the two contending parties. Whoo. I believe that book endings should either make the reader extremely happy or extremely sad. This one was just, "...contending parties. The end." Okay. No emotion. Just okay, it ended. Now where's my waffle?
But seriously. It didn't leave me with any book fog* when I finished it, all because of the unemotional ending. It made just say, "Okay," and close it. No happiness. No sadness. Just "Okay." What sort of an ending is that if it just makes me say, "Okay."? If any of you were like "WHOO!" or "NOOOOO!" when you read that ending paragraph, let me know. Am I missing something here, or is it just a boring ending?
8. I've decided that overall, I'm on team nobody. I've lately been all, "Team Ulysses!" or "Team Telemachus!" but really, they're both wombats. I mean, I like how Ulysses loves Penelope so much, but he and Telemachus are both sort of mean. Telemachus is always so mean to his mama! Seriously! Whenever she says something when he's around, he scolds her for no reason! Why so mean to your mama, Telemachus? I was thinking about being Team Penelope, but then I realized that she's sort o like...Bella. She's better than Bella, at least she does that loom thing, but all the time she just mopes around, like "Wah wah, I miss my hubby!" Does she do anything to get rid of the suitors? No. Does she do anything to help Telemachus, even though he's mean to her? No. And then Ulysses was all mean to Euryclea and Minerva, so.....I'm Team Nom Nom Monster! The one that eats Ulysses' whole ship in the movie, but not in the book. The monster that they pass before they get to the cow island! The Nom Nom Monster! Whoop whoop!

Okay, I think that's it for my Odyssey blogposts! WHOO! I have to say, I enjoyed posting these. It was fun! I hope you guys liked them, and I'll probably be back with more posts as we are assigned. Unless I slack off and never post. Muahahahahahahahaha..................................The end :)
*Book fog: when a book leaves you in a daze when you're finished with it, not being able to forget about the book you just read. Books with very strong fogs:

• The Harry Potter series
• The Hunger Games
• The Inheritance Cycle

Okay bye!
Waffles!
And Snow!
And bye!